Man charged with misdemeanor (touching a minor over her jeans) is denied a jury trial; the offense is considered petty, and the Sixth Amendment right to a jury trial applies only to “serious” crimes punishable by more than six months. He’s convicted. Man: I’m an immigrant. I will almost certainly be deported. D.C. Court of Appeals: Which is a serious consequence. He gets a jury trial. Dissent: So now noncitizens can have jury trials for petty offenses, but citizens can’t. Concurrence: D.C. officials could remedy that by restoring citizens’ right to such trials (which was stripped by legislation in 1994).