Almond milk, pee tests, and the Lorax doctrine.

John Ross · December 21, 2018
  • Latin abounds in this D.C. Circuit opinion holding that a nonprofit can’t invoke the Freedom of Information Act to peek at President Trump’s tax returns. Delight in some in pari materiaexpressio unius est exclusio alteriussui generis, and—for you Bird Law practitioners—rara avis.
  • Fourth Circuit: In approving a pipeline to run through the George Washington and Monongahela National Forests and across the Appalachian Trail, the U.S. Forest Service violated some federal codes and also the code of The Lorax—“speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.” For the court’s announcement of the Lorax doctrine, skip to the final paragraph of the opinion. For a 91-word opening sentence boasting nine initialisms and three abbreviations, scroll back up to the top.
  • Did you know that federal authorities don’t need a warrant to comb through your trash looking for evidence? But, according to the Fourth Circuit, they do need to find more than three marijuana stems and empty packages of rolling papers to justify a warrant to search your house.
  • Feminist student group at University of Mary Washington seeks changes to the school’s policies on sexual assault, provokes the wrath of fellow students by opposing authorization of male-only fraternities and seeking punishment of the men’s rugby team (which had performed an offensive chant at a party off campus). Fourth Circuit (over a dissent): The feminist group’s complaint, alleging the school violated Title IX by failing to protect them from student-on-student sexual harassment, should not have been dismissed.
  • For 80 years, Mercer County, W.Va. public schools taught Bible lessons. Agnostic parent’s allegation: And when my daughter opted out, the school didn’t teach her something else, and the other kids harassed her. I had to send her to a different district! Fourth Circuit: Blessed are the excluded, for they shall obtain standing.
  • Allegation: Houston medical examiner, egged on by police, creates misleading autopsy report; husband is charged with murder of wife, who in fact committed suicide. The examiner’s findings don’t stand up to scrutiny; charges are dropped mid-trial. Can the man sue the medical examiner? District court: Indeed. No qualified immunity. Fifth Circuit (over a dissent): Vacated. The district court didn’t sufficiently explain its reasoning.
  • Motorist receives text, checks her iPhone, and then causes accident, for which she is convicted of negligent homicide. Can Apple be held responsible under Texas law for creating a “neurobiological compulsion to engage in texting”? The Fifth Circuit says no.
  • Trumbull County, Ohio corrections officer regularly demands that 19-year-old inmate expose herself to him, masturbate. (She does.) Can her cellmate (who witnessed the whole thing and felt threatened by the officer after she told him she’d report him) sue the officer for creating a “sexually hostile environment”? The Sixth Circuit says no; that’s not actually a thing. (The other inmate is also suing; her case was heard on oral argument earlier this month at the Sixth Circuit.)
  • Man spends nearly three decades in prison for Newport, Ky. murder. Freed in 2015 based on newly discovered DNA evidence, he sues 13 police officers involved in the original investigation. Allegation: The cops tried to frame me, coerced false testimony from a jailhouse snitch, and deliberately suppressed exculpatory evidence. District court: If those allegations are true, then no qualified immunity; the case can proceed. Which is so clearly right, says the Sixth Circuit, that it would be a waste of our quills, ink, and blotting paper to “duplicate the district court’s careful work with our own opinion.”
  • Illinois prisoner learns prison gang is going to “eradicate” him. He says he warned the staff, but they did nothing to protect him. The staff: We couldn’t. He didn’t say when or where the beating would happen. Seventh Circuit: Is this Agatha Christie’s 1950 novel A Murder Is Announced? The failure-to-protect claim is going to trial.
  • Can a class action lawsuit be brought for not labeling almond milk as “imitation milk”? The Ninth Circuit (in an unpublished decision) says no; the district court was correct to find that “[n]o reasonable consumer could be misled by Defendant’s unambiguous labeling or factually accurate nutritional statements” describing almond milk as almond milk. (The district court’s ruling is here, via the FDA Law Blog.)
  • Utah state trooper hears about a bank robbery in which the suspect wore a Bud Light hat and checkered shirt. Thirty minutes later and 60 miles away, he hears a report of a suspicious Cadillac sitting in a bank parking lot, the driver of which is wearing a Bud Light hat and checkered shirt. Can the trooper pull over a Cadillac that he later sees on the freeway because Cadillacs aren’t often seen in rural Utah? No, says the Tenth Circuit. Dissent: We should take account of all of the circumstances, including the fact that the guy was caught on film robbing the first bank.
  • Castle Rock, Colo. man has debts (for, among other things, purchasing a $65k Camaro and $73k Corvette). So he sends a note, invoice to the U.S. Dep’t of Agriculture asking the feds to pay off the debt. Feds: Which was an attempt to defraud the gov’t. Man: I was petitioning the gov’t, as is my First Amendment right. Tenth Circuit: Conviction affirmed. (His sentence, via Courthouse News: a $500 fine, community service, probation.)
  • Palm Beach County, Fla. school officials require prospective substitute teachers to submit to drug test. (Results are not shared with law enforcement. In 2016, 40 applicants out of 4,965 fail or refuse to take the test.) An unconstitutional suspicionless search? Probably not, says the Eleventh Circuit. No need for an injunction while the suit proceeds.